TMI Thursday: VOM

Since my blog is very public and pretty much anyone and their mother can read it, I never thought I would get to participate in a TMI Thursday. Thankfully, though, I think I found a subject that is definitely too much information, but not so inappropriate as to get me in trouble with the parentals or work! That being said, welcome to my first ever TMI Thursday!

It’s that time again childrens. You know you love it. Or maybe it’s like a train wreck and you just can’t look away. Either way, as LiLu says…Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!

Drinking makes me throw up. In a post only suitable for a Thursday, I’m going to share just a few of my best puking moments :)

In chronological order:

1. The very first time I got drunk I was at my house partying with my brother and his friends. I was starving and decided to make Ramen noodles. After devouring an entire package by myself, I laid in my bed for about 0.2 seconds before getting the spins and racing to the bathroom. I didn’t quite make it and ended up covering an entire wall, floor to ceiling, followed by the entire floor between that wall and the toilet. Luckily some random girl, (I’m still confused why she was even at my house), ended up cleaning for me. FYI Ramen Noodles look exactly the same the second time around!
2. One of the many nights in college spent drinking at a certain fraternity house got a little out of hand. Or maybe they all got out of hand? Regardless, on this particular night I was in rare form. I had enough notice that it was coming back up to casually walk into the bathroom without making a scene. Once I got in there, however, I decided to avoid the toilet completely, and just throw up in the sink. The broken sink. The broken sink that doesn’t drain. Thank goodness for pledges who were forced to tear the piping apart to drain my vom into a bucket.
3. The first time Justin and I went out drinking together, I was super nervous. It was the day after our first date, and I was meeting his friend, Nate, for the first time. I started drinking fast, trying to calm my nerves, and there was a Penguin hockey game on TV at the bar. Everytime the Pens scored, the bartender would get up on the bar and pour shots in your mouth on her way by. Of course, the Pens scored 5 goals that night! Add in the snakebite shot forced down my throat by Nate, and I was wammered. On the ride home I started feeling really sick, so I asked Justin to pull over. He kept saying “we’re pulling into your driveway, just wait one minute.” But this girl doesn’t wait, and I begged him to stop the car. He did, and I opened my door to throw up in my parking lot. Unfortunately, I’m not a projectile vomiter, and ended up spewing all along the inside of the door jam, in his brand new, 7 month old Dodge Charger. Did I mention this was our second date? Yea, I’m classy.
4. Every year on the night before Thanksgiving, Justin’s high school has a bar crawl. 2008 was the first one I attended, and again, I was drinking a lot because I was nervous to meet a lot of his classmates. By 11:30 I was starving and convinced Justin to take me to McDonalds. Mmmm Chicken Nuggets! I wanted to make sure they were gone before we got to the next bar, so I housed a 10-piece in the span of about 8 minutes. When we parked to head into the next bar, I felt like I was gonna throw them back up, so I hurried out of the car this time to avoid a repeat of #3. Instead I was standing in the street, dry-heaving, but nothing was coming out. Next thing I know, a whole chicken nugget flies out of my mouth onto the street. I’m pretty sure it’s not possible to swallow a chicken nugget without chewing, but I threw up an entire chicken nugget. Even the other kid who was riding with us was in complete awe of my skills when he saw the nugget laying, fully intact, in the street next to me.

So there you have it. It may not be as crazy as other TMI’s you’ll read today, but it’s the most graphic I could get without needing to put a password on.

Do any of you have any outrageous throwing up stories to share?